After a VERY long hiatus…here is a revival of my blog. Enjoy the sentimentality. 🙂
To my sixteen year old self,
Today you are sixteen years old and you are about to turn seventeen in three weeks time. You still sleep with your hundred and six stuffed animals and you got incredibly scared when your mother suggested leaving King’s High School. I want to give you some advice and a little insight into your coming years. You are going to college soon…you’ve got some big preparing to do.
Always, always, ALWAYS remember what happened to you the summer when you were sixteen. Remember what Christ did for you and how realizing your own sin and ugliness brought you to your knees. He will carry you for the rest of your life. It’s going to be tough and I’ll get to that later, but just always know, even when you are walking with Him, He is walking with you.
You should know that from this point on your going to have a good amount of impressive people show up in your life and while some will hurt you, some will praise you and some will downright confuse you, they all will help you grow and change. Trust in the experience and let God paddle your boat. He knows where the worst rapids are, and He will make sure you get out alive.
The first of these will be a dear, sweet boy. He will change your perspective on pretty much everything having to do with your future. Let yourself go in this one. You’ll be broken and confused when it ends, but it’ll be more worth it than you can see from where your standing at this point. The room will burn around you, but keep slow dancing.
Right now you’ve got a friendship with a girl who freaks you out a little. She’s different, born in a different place and raised in a different way than you. She’s completely foreign to you, but keep her close. You’ll learn more from her life than any Christian biography you’ll read. She’ll teach you some hard lessons and you’ll really hate it. But once again, it’ll be worth it. She knows a bigger world than you do and when you learn more about that world, there will be no going back to the world you know now.
You’ll be making a big decision your junior year. You’ll do something you always swore never to do. You’ll leave the tiny private you’ve been attending since you were four. And you’ll upset a good number of people. Including yourself. Remember that thrill of knowing you can start again, however you want. Follow it. Your confidence will grow and you’ll be much more prepared. There is still much for you to learn.
Just to clear up the scary decision making process: you are going to go to college at a Christian university called George Fox University. Yes, it’s a Quaker school. Yes, they get really excited during worship. That’s really alright. You’ll find yourself getting excited by the end of your first year.
You’ll meet two guys: one whose heart you’ll break and one who will break your heart. Let one go and hold on to the other. You’ll figure out which one you need the most.
You’ll also apply to be an RA on campus and figure out what you want to do with your life. All those stories you wrote? You’ll be living one and writing the stories of others. Being an RA will be the best experience of your life.
There are no limits Lex. Don’t think that you can’t do something simply cause your scared. Know that you can make your own decisions and that it’s ok to go against the grain. Know that you need time to yourself, but also come to realize that serving is an extension of who you are.
I want to finish with the wise words of a man that will become like a second father to you. He will give you the opportunities you need to grow and change in the ways that you can and stretch you in way you need to be stretched. Your walls will crumble. But remember. That stone heart of yours has a lot to give.
Here is the phrase you’ll find most important: “Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming in you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that God’s hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.”
Your story is starting now. Don’t take no for an answer. Don’t limit your dreams. You have one life to live. So live it.
Your Twenty-Year-Old Self