And so it begins…
The flurry of moving, check outs, one job ending, two more beginning, and being in my first apartment. Graduation and pomp and circumstance. Making sure my lights turn on in the apartment and wondering when the hell my wifi will be connected. And the beginning of a new chapter.
I’ve learned a lot of things in my time at Fox. I am a very different woman than the one who entered my freshman dorm as a shy, opinionated 18 year old. In I marched with my legalistic ideology, most of me not even wanting to be in college, except to find a guy, get married and bravely conquer my fear of childbirth by popping out a few of my own. I was going to give biblical womenhood a run for its money. I knew I had a wide skill set, but disregarded the fact that I could, in fact, be a leader, have an opinion that mattered and be my opinionated, fun-loving, out-going personality while still being a strong woman of God.
But, of course, it always seems that God likes to work in my life by tearing down the things I thought I believed in and making me new over and over again. And that’s what He did theses last three years.
In high school, one of my friends had a habit of calling me fickle and this particular adjective bothered me, upset me and drove me to be less open with my emotions, my thoughts, my desires, and for a while, stifled how much I wished to dream. This followed me to college and haunted me as I continued through college. It drove my desire to settle down and have kids and stick to one thing finish something for once in my life.
But then I came to college and started a lot of great things. I was an RA, worked on my college newspaper, was the Vice President of a club on campus that raised awareness about issues of injustice around the world. I wrote a lot and read even more and made incredible friends. I found my anam caras here, my soul friends. I was able to travel and see the world. I had a few break-ups, and lost a few friends and didn’t end up going to Romania, Moldova, Germany, Austria, Czeck Republic or India. But I made it to Bangladesh. And I was published in a national magazine. And I started our newspaper’s website. And I landed two jobs before I even walked in graduation. And I left with friendships that will last me much longer than I expected or dreamed.
I learned about relationships. I learned that everyone is different and to assume that everyone can be dealt with the same is a sad under-rating of pretty incredible people. I learned that communication and being open and vulnerable are more important than a lot of other things. I learned what my priorities are, where my heart is. I fell in love with the world that I hadn’t yet seen and people that I hadn’t yet met. My heart began to be spread out across a world that welcomed me with open arms.
I learned about what I’m capable of and what I love to do. As a story teller, as a writer, as an explorer. I began to see my vision for my place in the world. My desire to see people understanding one another. My dream to see a world that treated each other with dignity and respect.
As a writer and a journalist it is my job to put the world into perspective. President Obama said about the recent news coverage of the Boston Bombing: “If you ever wonder, for example, whether newspapers are a thing of the past, all you needed to do was to pick up or log on to papers like The Boston Globe. When their communities and the wider world needed them most, they were there, making sense of events that might at first blush seem beyond our comprehension, and that’s what great journalists do.”
That is what I strive to do with my life. To make sense of this crazy world. In making sense of what is around us, maybe, just maybe, we will find Jesus. Who is after all, the common thread through everything that has happened the past three years. Who led me to become who I am now. And who helped me make sense of everything.